FilthyJunkie

alurienblack asked: Orange!

Orange: Six turn offs

Aw, see thas’ a challenge. Yer suggestin’ my nest ‘as already been flustered, sa we’re talkin’ things tha’ll settle it down ta nothin’ agin.

1. Sobriety, especially when it’s forced fer it. If some’un is goin’ sayin’ tha’ I kin’t git me knob shined ‘less I ain’t sweatin’ booze, I jus’ ain’t gonna rile fer ‘em. It’s gonna end wi’ me gittin’ bored and them gittin’ pissed off.

2. Gals. Don’t git me wrong, I ain’t gay, bu’ my junk is jus’ fuckin’ useless when I got a bird in me lap tryin’a start me.
Li’e I said, I ain’t gay righ’. Gals jus’ don’ work.

3. Purty much any race tha’ ain’t me own. I got some lastin’ interest in maybe them stubby human sorts, bu’ you kin’t pay me ta git goin’ wi’ them purple elves ‘er blue eyes. 

Ignorin’ a’ course, th’ times I did git paid fer it. They ain’t importan’!

Trolls an’ deaders are ferever on me ‘no’ lis’ tha’. I’ll be dead ‘fore I lit one of ‘em touch me.

4. If you hurt me junk I swear ta hell you ain’t gittin’ a single squeak a’ pleasure outta me.

5. People tha’ don’ seem ta git how things work. I kin’t put a number if I tried on all them folk who seem ta think tha’ you kin jus’ stick yer ass out dry an’ expect it naw ta hurt. I en’ up feelin’ li’e I’m fuckin’ some’un brain damaged an’ there ain’t no fun in cock blisters.

6. Folk who say anythin’ concernin’ li’e when I’m rattlin’ them. I had a guy go an’ tryin’a siggest I date ‘im righ’ after I fucked th’ daylights outta ‘im. Ne’er went soft so fas’ before. Think I ‘ad trouble fer th’ res’ a’ th’ day gittin’ a stiffy, thinkin’ he’d come aroun’ th’ corner tryin’a git me ta commit. Scary shit!

((I think there are like, three people who got asks from me with colors but in all caps and longer than just the words. SORRY, I am not nooot here right now. I can resend them in less obnoxious ways if needed.))

henrikberkelley asked: Cas you butt, I couldn't find your ask link on your tumblr! GIVE ME INDIGOOOO!

Indigo: Two weaknesses

((I THINK I YELLED IN YOUR ASK BOX. SORRY. SOMETIMES I CAN’T CONTROL THE VOLUME OF MY TEXT. Also I get confused easily.))

Weaknesses? Sa’ li’e…

Things tha’ hurt me real bad sorts?

Uhh, well, hyperthetertically if I had some sorts a’ weaknesses.

1. Prolly if some’un goes an’ runs me dry fer usin’. Li’e if they go an’ hide off wha’ I need fer shootin’, I tend ta git real messed up sorts. Especially if I had a certain time I was gonna plan fer it.

2. Despi’e my reputation fer lovin’ a good figh’ er markin’, I git real weak kneed fer some’un damagin’ my jewels. You know.

My junk.

I need them intac’ an’ people are figgerin’, “Hey I’ll jus’ slug ‘im wi’ my knee inno his cock an’ balls, sho’ he’d love tha’.”

I DO NOT LOVE THA’.

((OH shit, the ask button is invisible on this layout. WHOOPS. Gonna…fix that.))

oeste asked: bloo

Blue: Three fears

I ain’t scared a’ NOTHIN’. You hearin’ tha’? I’m prolly th’ mos’ fearless fuckin’ elf they got in alla th’ Eastern Kingdoms.

…Bu’ if yer really askin’, sa long as you ain’t tellin’ no’un else!

1. I’m scared a’ detoxin’. I’ve tried it before an’ it was some a’ th’ mos’ painful shit I’ve e’er gone through in me life. You feel li’e yer heart is tryin’a crash through yer throat and yer bones turned ta dust, naw littin’ you move li’e you wanna. You purty much shut down ‘less you git th’ go ta fix up a shot.

2. Water. An’ it ain’t even direc’ly abou’ th’ fact tha’ I don’ bathe er nothin’. I feel li’e I’m drownin’ all th’ time, why woul’ I wanna drown fer real? Naw ta mention gittin’ wet makes you heavier ya know. All yer skin gits all sucked in with water an’ you git slow.

3. The Light. Especially palerdins who go aroun’ touchin’ people wi’ them Lighty hands, blessin’ an’ healin’ an’ judgin’.

I hate th’ Light. I’m scared a’ it ‘cause I know when I die it’s gonna judge me, an’ tha’ judgement ain’t gonna be nothin’ good.

tinyangrywoman asked: Yellow

Yellow: Five turn ons.

Aw hell. It don’t take much to git my gears goin’.

Uhh, lesse ‘ere.

1. Purty fonda hands er tyins’ aroun’ me neck. Made fer some awkward fights. Think I won in the end. Sure fel’ li’e it. Ooo I’m gittin’ started jus’ thinkin’…

2. Warm people. If they’re feelin’ awful comfy tha’ way, I’m bound ta git closer. I’m a sucker fer heat, wha’ kin I say?

3. Right person scratchin’ my beard migh’ find tha’ I’m more than a bit innerested. Usually purty good at hidin’ it tha’, ssh.

4. Thistle. Bu’ naw directly. I’m jus’ sayin’ it ain’t nothin’ ta scoff at if yer loaded an’ git a burd ta share. Git a flutter in my gut jus’ thinkin’ a’ some’un offerin’ a joint… mm. Dis’ractions! Sorry. Giss bein’ high in general? Real easy ta pop fer it.

5. Anyone who kin give me a few purty marks durin’ a go is welcome in me alley anytime.